Enough of the touchy feely crap
by soulless
Summary: i dont expect anyone to like this, its set in season 2, and is more like an outlet for myself


By the by: set during season two / spike / angelus, and if you use this on your website please tell me, I just feel all manly when I know where my piece is going.  
  
LETS GO KILL ANNE RICE  
  
"spike my boy, role in here NOW" angelus shouted at the top of his lungs at the carbon copy of himself a hundred years back.  
  
"let me guess, angelus needs to feel loved all over again" he smiled at the older yet caveman brow version of himself as he pushed the wheel chair into the front room of the mansion.  
  
Angelus was watching some sort of television programme, or movie, any way angelus must have only just brought the TV into the mansion, it had lit up the entire room with its light.  
  
There were books piled up on the large wooden table in the centre of the room, Angelus's eyes were half on spike, half on the book he had in his hand "I cant believe you, its no wonder I have to 'take care' of dru".  
  
Spikes face hardened as he pulled up near to angelus "oh.what now the slayer make you feel.what..all insecure about your, insecurity".  
  
Angelus shot up out of his seat "aahh.stretching my legs feels..so..so..damn good, don't you think billy boy, oh sorry" he smirked "your in a wheel chair aren't you.how insensitive I am of your" he smiled just a little more "condition".  
  
Spike said nothing, did nothing, merely smirked back at angelus, the same smirk that any man would give if he new his best friend was screwing his girlfriend and they new about it, and they were going to surprise the shit out of them one day by showing them they new, and to tell angelus that it was time to pay the piper.  
  
Angelus smiled back, he new that he known about his and Drucilla's sexcapades, how could he not know, he made dru moan like a whore, and that's what angelus got of on, knowing spike could here his precious little drucilla scream on command.  
  
"you know, I get the billy idol look, I get the fact that you..somehow care about drucilla, I even get the accent and the hair" spike was becoming bored, he rested his head on his hand and looked at angelus with a placid and obvious I'm bored look just to irritate him "what I don't get is how you let shit like this" he pointed to the books on the table "get printed and distributed" spikes eyes drifted towards the pile of books on the table, he still had a placid look on his face.  
  
"what d'you mean, oh old and obviously all-knowing about what you only know.one"  
  
"I have been out of the loop for a while, William, but this.this is beyond a joke, even I don't think this sick sense of misinterpretation is funny, and I think a lot of sick things are funny"  
  
"hey ive got nothin to do with penguin, you stupid six foot tuxedo mosquito"  
  
Angelus ignored him an turned towards the television "and this.this they made a movie out of, I know they only make movies out of idiocy scripts, and over the top books but this shit just gets me well.it takes a seat right behind the old buffster"  
  
Now there was something spike was interested in "oh..right the love of your unlife, how could anything possibly take precedence over that, I was right, the moment I saw you and the slayer together I said to dru. Dru, now there is a man who is totally pussy whipped"  
  
Angelus growled loudly, spikes expression didn't change, angelus turned around "well you'd know all about that wouldn't you.spikey" he looked at spike and spike looked directly back at him, they stared at each other for a brief moment and angelus carried on "I'm referring to this crap I have laid out in front of me"  
  
"well technically its behind you now" spike gave a quick retort but angelus wasn't impressed, just a little amused as he raised his eyebrows and walked backwards towards the television, is arm outstretched as to reveal everything in front of him, he laid his arm firmly on top of the television.  
  
"NO.the crap in front of me" he waved his hand at the books and the television now in front of him, spike couldn't help but notice that he too was in front of angelus.  
  
Spike looked down towards the floor smiling a very large grin which was obviously there to make himself feel a bit better, and when those lushes thoughts of knowing that he could walk and that idiot didn't know, couldn't even guess, he looked at angelus and asked "so what's the man with the usually obvious plan got on his bloody mind then eh"  
  
"please stay with me William" he said cheerfully "for one thing its not everyday I tell you about my grand master plans, secondly, id like just this once to take precedence over your so obviously par say thoughts of revenge..hhmm"  
  
"well for one thing mate I wouldn't call'm master, but your right in your second part.bout the revenge I mean, not that when I put them into practise they'll be par say.I'm sure you're gonna find them bloody..whats the word...er.effulgent"  
  
"glad to hear it, now to more pressing issues" he walked over to the large wooden table in the front room getting in the way of the television spike was beginning to watch. The room was empty and cold, dark, the mansion was a perfectly perfect place for there new hang out.  
  
Angelus stood opposite spike, there eyes now locked, spike with a bored subtle look, angelus with a grin, a wicked grin, it was obvious to spike he had something horribly ripping on his mind and it probably involved going of somewhere with dru and without himself, this he mused, this meeting was probably angeluse's way of flaunting his and dru's 'thing', and spike really gave a shit, he just didn't want to give the tall dark and long fanged one the opportunity to relish in his, for the moment, impotence.  
  
Angelus bent over keeping his eyes on spike, spike took the brief opportunity to look at the television screen, angelus grabbed one of the books on the table and threw it at spike "here, look at that".  
  
Spike was slightly startled but picked up the book that was now in his lap, he turned the book around and read the title "the tale of the body thief" he closed the book, not wanting to start it, it looked to thick, he turned the book around and looked at the spine "by Anne rice".  
  
"yeah, well done will, you are perceptive tonight" angelus wasn't amused but annoyed.  
  
"look, you frigin berk, what do you want besides everything I've got" spike threw the book back at angelus hard, angelus in turn threw it back harder. Spike gave another look at the floor grin.  
  
"well spike..erm, gee already have what you had but more specifically I'd like to enlighten you for a brief moment in you sad existence" spike looked back up at him and threw the book even harder at angelus.  
  
"how's bout a lessen then.enlighten, me, but I could brighten up your day as well mate.all's I..no never mind, you might as well carry on with YOUR SHIT"  
  
"why thanks wills.hay I could call you wills couldn't I, just like the name buff gives her bitch sidekick".  
  
Drucilla came in from the garden through the large curtain that protected them from the deadly rays of the sun, she approached, the two vampires who were staring at her "my boys..my family".  
  
Suddenly spikes eyes were back on angelus, his wasn't, he continued to look at dru, and when he saw spike looking at him he smiled at dru, spike gave off poison in his glare.  
  
"what's up baby" spike said as he noticed drucilla's confused look. She walked around spike putting her hand on his shoulder, gliding it along his neck.  
  
Angelus interrupted "did you have another vision, what did you see"  
  
"oh yeah..something's coming something wicked, slashing and bashing" drucilla spoke with a calm glee.  
  
She walked around spike and towards angelus, he whispered into her ear as she moved into him "where, where's it coming".  
  
Spike watched with added interest as he listened to dru "another sunny afternoon, it needs a little time to wake up..your gonna wake it up you will give it its morning glory.and its here, its with you its with us all, its in our blood, mine and yours, hahahaha" she screeched as she sat down on the floor, in between the space between spike and angelus.  
  
Angelus looked at spike with a concerned look, she didn't say anything about spikes blood. She continued to look up at the ceiling of the floor laughing contently, spike and angelus continued to glare at each other "its faster than a canon ball wandering around a maze, hahaha" she gasped out before going to sleep on the floor.  
  
"Kay.where was she getting high" angelus bleeped .  
  
"dru..sweetheart, you haven't been feeding on those kids at the college again have you.I told you they've got acid for blood, you shouldn't eat that" spike said with only a slight concern, bending over his chair to see dru  
  
"I don't know, kinda perks her up a bit" angelus interrupted.  
  
"oh.yeah what you want again" spike retorted looking at dru with a sound of irritation in his voice.  
  
Angelus walked over to dru, then looking away from spike laid himself down beside her, and stroked her head "what I want spike my boy.is to screw dru, hay that kinda rhymes..sorry, I mean tell you about this filth I have had to endure because of your stupidity" he got up and walked over to the television.  
  
"my stupidity" spike sighed.  
  
"have you read this shit" he waved his hand in the direction of the pile of books on the table, "course you haven't, you cant read can you, sorry forgetting about you condition aren't I"  
  
"you know one day." spike was about to continue when  
  
"and have actually watched this fucking stuff, this, this shit, has all been written by one women"  
  
"goody for her, that's what I say"  
  
Angelus turned towards spike then back towards the television "you stupid, ignorant blond."  
  
Spike now interrupted him "whoa there mate, please don't use harsh language"  
  
He was ignored "there is this women out there, a women for reasons beyond my own comprehension has got the attention of the entire world at her pen ink, and its pissed me off"  
  
Spike perplexed "argh..poor angel's confused and upset"  
  
Angelus turned around with a vamped out face on, this spike mused must have been at the mention of his soulful name, he still wasn't impressed he didn't know what that puff wanted and at this rate he didn't think he would "I'm talking about."  
  
"yes you keep talking about, but what the fuck are you meant to mean, you idiot", angelus went ballistic he span round fast and kicked the TV smashing it into the wall opposite, he roared and threw himself at spike and grabbed a whole of his duster.  
  
"listen, Billy idol wanna be, sex pistol stuck in the eighties monster type thing whatever, I'm going on a trip, a long trip, to refresh my ever so deep blood lust for violence and destruction, and I wanted to tell you, that you and yours are gonna get a chance at fucking drucilla" with that he threw spike back into his chair, spike threw an arm about hitting angeluse's arms and trying to get control of his chair.  
  
"and what brought this on, oh cave man brow of greatness".  
  
"this shit" he pulled away again walking backwards with his arm outstretched  
  
"your big with the walkin backwards in to the shadows larck aren't you"  
  
Angelus kicked over the table grabbed a book of the floor and held it up " this, my dear wills, is a book with which I hope your familiar with. it's a book in a long line of chronicles called the vampire chronicles, all written by some Irish bitch."  
  
Spike interrupted "weren't you originally Irish"  
  
Angelus ignored him "trying to earn some stupid denero, at our expense for her and her Mick family"  
  
Angelus stopped to put his normal face on "what I'm trying to tell you spike is that there was a huge film and a column of books that say you and I are queer, but I guess you need a little time to wake up to that fact"  
  
"what.what are you talkin about?"  
  
"I'm talkin about this bitch called Anne rice who has written these books about the likes of you and me and dru and has said that we are longing for release from some sort of shit" of spikes confused look "that isn't even half of it, in one of the books 'the vampire Armand' there is this vampire who has a bunch of boys working for him, one of which he seduces and turns into a vampire, its all fucked. Some of it would turn a straight man gay and beg to be tortured"  
  
Spike smiled "your not gay are you after reading this bloody rot are you" he picked up a book of the floor and threw it at angelus "now, now, boys don't cry, hahahah".  
  
Angelus vamped out "spike, this bitch has got no idea, of what we are or what we think of, or even any idea of a slayer, she thinks, she lives out her fantasies out on things like us, she thinks that we will go to her and make beautiful love to her, and turn her into something immortal just cause we happen to think she's a good fuck" angelus giggled "sure I'm gonna find her, and I'm gonna make beautiful poetry in motion with her, motion that any VAMPIRE would find beautiful"  
  
"goody for you, you do that, take a vacation, enjoy yourself, and.erm don't come back" spike said with hopeful, sarcastic glee.  
  
"what..I couldn't leave the fuck Munster dru all alone with you now could I..I'm going to find this bitch, I'm going to correct her misinterpretation, I'm going to give her a whole new out look on life, an outlook the likes of which no mortal could ever come back from without going insane, come on spike lets go kill Anne Rice"  
  
The words 'lets go kill someone' sounded quite savage and warm to spike he didn't care who was dead or was going to be, but it did all sound quite inviting to see angelus loose his rag over someone he'd never even met before, it sounded quite amusing.  
  
So did what he had in mind.  
  
Spike got out of his chair stood up, angelus was bemused, spike reached from behind the chair and grabbed a crowbar and proceeded to hit angelus with it a multiple amount if times. He had quite just about enough of angeluse's banter and perversions with dru, the sound of the crow bar hitting him sounded like bell dongs coming from a church bell for, it sang in his ears, this was spikes kinda music.  
  
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Angelus awoke tied to the tree in the garden, one eye was mashed up, he had various broken limbs and was bleeding from every orifice, coupled with that his skull had been split open. He wasn't happy.  
  
"orgh.my fuckin head..spike, you piece of SHIT, how dare you" spike wandered in through the curtain into the garden, with a gleeful smile on his face.  
  
"now, now, lets not loose are temper, your gonna need all your strength mate the suns comin up in an hour" angelus tried to break free and moved his loose legs to try and kick spike "whoa there mate, wouldn't wanna be in your chains eh" he walked backwards towards the wall and rested on it, he took a packet of cigarettes from his duster pocket and shook them lightly next to his ear, he took one out, lit it and took a long drag, exhaling he blew the smoke in angeluse's direction and smiled.  
  
Angelus was staring at spike with a very unhappy look upon his face, he ignored the smoke spike blew his way and continued to stare, there was an ore in the air, an understanding, angelus new that this battle had been lost but the war wasn't over not by a long shot, despite the immanent arrival of the sun.  
  
Finally spike walked around the tree "don't look so glum mate, your gonna get to see Darla.." he took another drag on his cigarette "soon".  
  
"oh.well done William" angelus spoke with a tinge of confidence.  
  
"why, cheers mate" spike said with a nudge into angeluse's shoulder, something he cringed at, and made spike smile "I guess its true what they say init, what comes around really comes around" spike blew yet more smoke into his face, "want a smoke mate"  
  
Angelus ignored his spikes last comment "its true, it really does.I mean you sittin there in that chair, listening to dru scream, and moan to all the nasty things I was doin to her, it must of ticked you of well, now that I'm starting to think about the whole thing I can now see that.oh how stupid of me I thought you were letting me 'look after dru' I didn't know you felt so strongly about the arrangement, I mean if I'd of known I."  
  
Spike said nothing merely looked at angelus as he tried to do a head job on him.  
  
"hay, it must have really festered inside you, I mean think about it, hearing dru down those long corridors.and now I realise that you must have got of on it as well.. I think"  
  
"what do you mean.. mate" spike smiled he was interested on how the bastard was gonna wriggle his way out of this one  
  
"well I think you enjoyed hearing.. that's all"  
  
"what do you mean" spike was perplexed  
  
Angelus was thinking that now he had an avid listener he should stick it in and tear it around a little bit "well I just think that you enjoyed hearing me give dru one, after all you could walk, you could have done something about it a while back couldn't ya A"  
  
Spike said nothing  
  
"I mean you could have marched straight into that room pulled me of, of top of dru and staked me there and then, but hay we could have shared couldn't we, you and I..unless"  
  
"unless what"  
  
"you were scared"  
  
"scared of what, you"  
  
"well yeah"  
  
"look who's in the chains looking all glum and miserable about to die from sunburn, that little fact wandered of somewhere in that damaged melon of yours" he poked angeluse's head, he flinched a little.  
  
Angelus new he had baited his fish and ignored the last statement "I think you where scared of me, I think you where either too frightened to fight me in a straight one on one, or you where terrified of sharing dru with me.. What's wrong, not enough tackle down there Willie, afraid dru might choose between you an me and go for a bigger piece of meat.but that's what you got of on though isn't it someone with a bigger dick given dru the fuck of a unlifetime"  
  
"THAT'S ENOUGH" spike roared at him  
  
Spike broke of a branch from the tree and was about to stake him when "spike" drucilla walked into the room, he stopped himself from staking angelus and looked at dru, he heard angelus giggle at him and he turned his attention back to the focus of his hatred.  
  
"Go back to bed baby, ill be in, in a sec" spike said looking into angeluse's eyes.  
  
"naughty, wicked spike, you cant kill daddy, miss Edith and I still want to play" she wandered in looking confused and bewildered not noticing the two vampires having there 'discussion' about there family values "oh.. Spike my sweet, the stars gone"  
  
"they are aren't they sweet, sun'll be up soon, better get inside, I promise they will be back as soon as you wake up" spike said humouring drucilla, spike and angeluse's eyes still locked, so was the stake at his chest.  
  
"drucilla turned her attention to the two of them, I told daddy, this would happen last night in a dream"  
  
"what do you mean babe" drucilla sat down on the floor next to angelus mumbling to herself  
  
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CHAPTER ONE 


End file.
